Autism Interview #214: Elliot Harper on Late Diagnosis

Elliot Harper is Elliot Harper is a senior manager in the UK public sector, an autistic advocate, and a passionate blogger. Recently diagnosed with autism, Elliot shares insights on navigating neurodivergence in the workplace and life. He is also the Vice Chair of his organization’s Autism and Neurodiversity Network, where he advocates for inclusive environments. A dedicated father of three, he balances leadership, advocacy, and family life in Shropshire, England. Today Elliot shared his journey to diagnosis after the age of 40, and the advocacy work he’s now leading.

How did you become aware you are Autistic?

My autistic journey began after I encountered some challenges with a few of my co-workers. I started receiving feedback that some of the staff I managed felt I lacked empathy. They had been trying to share personal difficulties with me, but I hadn’t acknowledged or responded to them in the way they expected. At the time, I didn’t recognize this as an issue. To me, the way I conducted myself seemed perfectly fine and normal.

I decided to explore the feedback further with a colleague who, by pure chance, was an autism champion within our organization’s Autism and Neurodiversity Network. During our conversation, they gently suggested that I might be autistic. That discussion opened the door for me to learn more about autism. As I looked deeper, I realized that many of the common traits of autism applied to me. Suddenly, many experiences and events throughout my life began to make sense. I’ve since learned this is a common feeling for those of us diagnosed later in life.

What was it like receiving a diagnosis “later” in life? How did you feel about it?

I wasn’t sure at first whether I wanted to pursue a diagnosis, and part of me questioned my reasons for even considering it. In the end, I decided I needed to know, if only to help explain to others why I think and act in ways that might not always align with how they see the world.

When I was diagnosed at 42, I had mixed feelings. On one hand, I was relieved because it explained so much about me. On the other hand, I felt a sense of loss, as though the person I had been before the diagnosis was somehow gone.

I’m still coming to terms with being autistic, and it hasn’t been easy. Imagine living 42 years believing you were just like everyone else, only to find out that you’re a bit different. It’s a lot to process, and it’s something I’m still working through.

On your website, you said that you have learned to “embrace autism as a strength, not a weakness.” Can you elaborate?

I’m a big believer in not letting yourself be defined by a label. You are not a label—you are you! Every single one of us is different, and none of us are perfect. We all have strengths, and we all have weaknesses, and that’s exactly how I view autism.

There are many things I’ve achieved in my life that I know I’ve only accomplished because of autism. My ability to focus intensely on something and absorb a huge amount of knowledge about the things that interest me are strengths I’m incredibly thankful for.

Of course, autism also brings challenges, especially when it comes to relationships and communication. Those are areas where I know I need to put in more effort than others, but I work on them every day.

Whenever I feel down about autism, I remind myself of the incredible things autistic people are achieving. Autism is behind autonomous rockets being sent into space, innovations in global communication, and groundbreaking changes in the way we travel. To me, that doesn’t sound like a weakness at all.

Tell me about The Autistic Boss website (purpose, audience, what drove you to create it).

I created The Autistic Boss because I realized there were very few resources out there specifically for autistic professionals, by autistic professionals. Almost everything I found online was either aimed at professionals working with autistic people or at neurotypical employees wanting to learn how to “deal with” their autistic colleagues. To be honest, that really annoyed me! So, I decided to create a resource exclusively for autistic professionals.

Over the last couple of decades, I’ve been on quite a career journey, learning a lot through trial and error. As a result, I feel as though I’ve got quite a lot to share with other people from an autistic perspective. I focus on exploring the kinds of questions that really interest me—queries about how my autism fits into the workplace and how to navigate challenges as an autistic professional.

If anyone has a specific topic they’d like me to cover, I’m always happy to take suggestions—just let me know!

Is there anything you would say to your younger self if given the opportunity?

That’s an interesting question. If I could travel back in time, I wonder if I’d want to tell myself – or my parents – that I’m autistic. Honestly, I don’t think I would. I’d worry that society might hold me back because of the label. That people around me might say I couldn’t achieve certain things or take on certain jobs because of autism.

Not being diagnosed until adulthood meant those barriers were never put in front of me. Interestingly, though, as soon as I received the diagnosis, I noticed that some people started treating me with kid gloves, and I didn’t like that one bit!

So, if I could speak to my younger self, I’d probably just say, “Carry on as you are, kid—you’ll be just fine!”

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