Stacey Morgan is a late-diagnosed data management professional from Houston, Texas on a mission to learning more about her neurology and how she can teach acceptance and support of the Autistic people in our communities. This week she shared glimpses into her journey of self-discovery after learning of her diagnosis as an adult.
How was your diagnosis explained to you? Was it described in a positive, negative, or neutral way?
It wasn’t explained in a negative way, but I honestly don’t remember if it was framed as positive or neutral. What stood out to me was that the doctor explained why he diagnosed me as Level 2, even though he doesn’t really believe in levels (and he explained why levels aren’t entirely accurate). He said that in some areas I present more like Level 1, and in others more like Level 2, and he wanted to make sure I had access to whatever support I might need if levels are used that way.
How has your understanding of autism shifted since your diagnosis (if relevant)?
My understanding has shifted completely. I’ve learned a lot about the nuances of being on the spectrum. I had my own assumptions about what autism “looked like,” and I’ve had to unlearn a lot of that. It’s made me much more empathetic, especially toward people who don’t fit neatly into expectations or social norms.
How has your understanding of your neurology helped you navigate life as an adult and/or in the professional world?
I’m still figuring this out. The biggest change has been awareness. I understand more about why my brain works differently and try to lean into the strengths that come with that.
In professional settings, it’s been a mixed experience. I’ve noticed that when differences are understood in a general way, they’re often accepted more easily. But when autism is formally identified, it can sometimes be viewed more through the lens of limitations. I think that highlights a broader gap in understanding. I think there’s still a lot of growth needed in how workplaces recognize both the strengths and support needs that come with being Autistic. It’s not just about offering accommodations, but understanding why those supports matter.
What are some of your hobbies and/or things you are most passionate about?
I enjoy genealogy, history, and anything that lets me use my detail-oriented skills. I volunteer in several places, including a historical society. I really like helping events run smoothly, especially check-in processes, because disorganization and chaos are hard for me, and I like creating systems that make things easier for everyone.
My special interests are genealogy and genetic genealogy, the local livestock show and rodeo (over 90 years old), and local history.
What do you wish you would have known as a young Autistic person? Or what might you need to hear now?
I wish I had known that my brain works differently—and that my communication style is different, not wrong. I spent a lot of time trying to fit in, and it often made things feel more awkward instead of less.
I also wish I had understood that what I perceived as criticism or negative judgment was often just a misunderstanding. I took a lot of comments, reactions, and even facial expressions as confirmation that something was “wrong” with me.
Knowing earlier that I could lean into my strengths instead of focusing so much on what I thought were deficits would have made a big difference. I also wish I had understood what my strengths actually were. It wasn’t until other people mentioned to me what I did well, and what my potential could be, that I started (slowly) recognizing my abilities and learning to lean into them.
For example, when I took “what career should you have” assessments, I consistently scored very high in areas like engineering and architecture. I was told I didn’t have the math skills to be successful in those fields, which may have been true, but what wasn’t explored was why I scored high in the first place. I tend to be strong with details, patterns, and noticing things others might miss. Those strengths could have translated well into related fields. I wish someone had taken the time to look at the underlying skills, not just the surface-level fit.
That kind of understanding and encouragement would have made a big difference.
What sustains you (either in daily life or challenging times)? What is most important to you?
Right now, I’m still figuring that out. Being unemployed has been really difficult. It affects self-esteem, motivation, and even the ability to relax.
At the moment, I’m focusing more on spending time with family and friends. I’ve also started a new therapy program to help me work through some of my experiences, so I don’t stay stuck in cycles of rumination or feeling hurt.
What autism resources have you found especially helpful?
The healthcare toolkit from Organization for Autism Research has been especially useful for navigating medical appointments. I also really value the perspectives shared by Reframing Autism and NeuroClastic. I tend to learn most from autistic adults sharing their own experiences. Of course, Autism Self Advocacy Network is extremely important, as well as your site 🙂
Is there anything else you’d like to add?
Being diagnosed in my 50s means I spent most of my life not understanding how my brain works. I didn’t know how to relax, what actually brought me joy, or what sustained me. In a lot of ways, I’m now trying to undo 50+ years and figure out how to move forward.
At the same time, I recognize that when I was younger, there just wasn’t much awareness or understanding of autism, especially for someone like me. The resources and support that exist now weren’t really there.
One thing I’ve learned is how important it is to find the right kind of support. Having a therapist who understands both trauma and autism makes a big difference. For me, it’s been more helpful to understand what’s underneath certain behaviors than to just try to change them.
I also care a lot about helping people better understand autism. What can look like “negative” behaviors are most often signs of something deeper. They’re not just things to fix. A lot of the time, differences in communication or behavior come down to how we process things, not a lack of effort or motivation.
We’re not a puzzle to be solved or a piece that’s out of place. We just experience and process the world differently.
That kind of understanding, both for myself and from others, is something I’m still building.